Beginning
Hello…today I am thinking about beginnings. Perhaps because it is morning, the start of a new day– an entire pile of hours that have never been before. Or perhaps it is because I recently began this blog…again. It is a fresh start to an old idea– and I see a few things that fit that description in my life right now. Can you relate? Do you ever feel like you are again taking the first steps into an old effort– something that you’ve tried (and tried) to accomplish but could not tell if the ground beneath you was gained or lost? I have. I know this experience is not unique to me– many of us often circle back through goals, dreams, or needs that are waiting to be moved forward and will not let us go until we give them the attention deserved.
If this feels familiar to you, then let’s agree on something. Let’s agree to start at this old place in a new effort with a spirit of compassion. Let’s bring gratitude for the opportunity to begin again, not punitive memories and shaming messages about old failure.
We are still becoming who we are, and we have learned from what we’ve tried before. Why not honor those lessons and put them to work for us, so that we can be open to learning what’s in store for this new beginning. Let’s free ourselves from being narrowly and fearfully attached to demanding outcomes, and instead be patient with ourselves and present with the process so that we can see and receive what may unexpectedly arise to bless and empower us. I am in the mood to fill my hands and heart with hope and courage, regardless if this re-start goes in the directions that are most familiar or ends “perfectly”.
With Covid-19 ruling our time and territories these days, it may seem like an odd or insensitive time to talk about beginnings. I assure you I am not ignoring the reality of the Coronavirus situation and how it seems to be holding the world hostage and immobile. Daily I am stilled and stirred by the stories of desperation, death, and of people rising to offer help as best they can. I also know that the tides of suffering will relent, healing will surge around the globe, and all of us, in our own ways, will be facing the task of beginning again. Beginning from a place of grief with a sense of self that feels weak and wobbly. Gingerly stepping into what many are already calling a ‘new normal’ and trying to figure out what it means for living. Deciding where we can restart old rhythms while bravely creating new ones.
I already feel the energy of a collective new beginning seeping in. We do not know exactly when things will shift, but it is ok to begin dreaming now of beginnings ahead. It is ok to hold compassionate space for today’s suffering even while we allow our imaginations and creativity to stir toward what we can restart when the time is right.
Sometimes remembering that there are beginnings ahead of us can offer light and a place to hold on to when we feel we are in the chaotic energy of darkness and pain.
If you are unsure how or where to begin a new path in your life, consider counseling. It is a powerful way to understand yourself more deeply, and to find what you already know about gaining ground where you need, want, and deserve it most. I have current availability via telehealth care and I would love to hear your story.
